The Supporting Detail

 My nursing career was indeed somewhat like a roller coaster ride. There had been various and unique challenges I had encountered along the way which somehow gave me a clearer understanding of why God breathed life into me. I have known my purpose since then and although sometimes I still falter a lot, I never fail to stand up and move on.

I am the youngest and I was only thirteen years old when my father passed away. Having seen him sprawled on the chair, cyanotic and unconscious, I was traumatized by his death that I suffered from depression because of grief. My widowed mother became my source of motivation and strength while unbeknown to me, I became hers too. Since then, I was motivated and saw the need to become a nurse. My sister being a nurse herself helped me with my decision of becoming one.

The first two years of my formal training in nursing school was rough for my mom and me. She accepted a catering job for a friend who used to work at a bank. She taught me how to bake cakes and pastries and I would spend the whole day until night time baking pineapple and caramel tarts; making tamarind candies and pack them in plastic bags. In between school breaks, I would deliver the goodies to another friend of hers who owns a ready-to-wear and plastic supply store. This went on for two years until I got into my third year of nursing school, where my schedule became hectic and heavy due to the related learning experiences. There were times when I would go to school with only P20 as my allowance. In between classes, our professors would give us fifteen minute breaks and I would buy P10 worth a bag of peanuts, which was enough to ease my hunger that would allow me to concentrate for the next two hours of lecture. All of the hardships, sleepless nights and completion of requirements by meeting deadlines paid off when I graduated and passed the local licensure exam.

After passing the board exam, I had been looking for the perfect opportunity for me to land a job at a
hospital. It was a very challenging experience for me since there weren’t a lot of job openings in the
city where I live during that time, even until now. Somewhere along my search for a job at the hospital, I found the need to pursue my post graduate studies and in a span of a year and a half, I was able to finish it with flying colours while I had taught English to Koreans. The following year after I left work at the English academy, I was given a brief chance to gain my experience as a clinical nurse trainee at a hospital in my hometown for three months. During that time there was a vacant position for paediatric nurse although, I was already aiming for the ICU. However, the desire to gain my clinical experience compelled me to be trained in that area with hopes of getting the position and be a regular staff, even though I did not like kids. I was trained for a month in the unit upon my request and was exposed to other areas as well in the next two months. I was hoping that I’d get the job by the time my training ended. Unfortunately, my training ended and I still was not hired.

The need to gain hospital experience and to practice my profession made me decide to leave my hometown and move to another city. I was blessed to finally land a job at a prestigious hospital in my country after months of searching and with a little help from my aunt, while working on with my thesis. I worked myself out to get the position that I wanted. When I found out that the ICU was in need of nurses, I took the test twice since I failed the first, but I was not called for an interview. After the second take and after realizing that there would not be any call for an interview, I thought I was not meant to be in the ICU. It was timed that the Emergency Room was in dire need of nurses so I decided to take the test for it. A few days before the test for the ER, I was approached by our staff development coordinator. She informed me the ICU supervisor considered me as a potential candidate for the staff nurse position, so I was called for an interview the following day. The following week, I started work in the ICU. Coming from the wards which cater all cases including adults and paediatric patients, I thought of becoming a PICU nurse so after a few months since I was transferred in the ICU, my supervisor granted my request and transferred me in the PICU.

The experiences that I got from the floor, in the ICU and PICU, have all been very helpful for me. I have learned most especially about time management – how to accomplish all required and possible tasks in 8 hours. I have learned how to deal with everyday situations that commonly happen in the hospital. I have learned other procedures which I had not done when I was a student and have encountered cases which I thought were only possible in nursing books. Most of all, I have learned the value of unity and respect for others in the workplace.

I believe that with all that I have experienced, I am capable and competent to be an intensive care nurse. Although I must admit I still have a lot of skills to learn, I am always up for challenges. I always thirst for knowledge not only confined within the medical field but also in other fields as well, especially in Aviation. My late father was supposed to be a pilot and he passed on that flying desire to me. I had not known it until I was about sixteen years old. The desire though, somewhat died down when I found out that it would take an arm and a leg for me to be one so I asked my mother what job would get me somewhere. She said I should be a nurse so I took up nursing not because I wanted to go abroad but I had seen that not only did I possess a flying desire but also a caring and a helpful attitude as well. I believe I am trained and resilient enough to handle stressful situations and dilemmas. After all, the experiences I get to encounter every day in the unit always give me a much better understanding of the intricacies of the profession I chose. Every patient that I render care to always tell a story, providing me with insights on how to become a better nurse. The complexity yet the beauty of the nursing profession lies not only on what the nurse had learned during his or her university days but also his or her desire to touch and save lives with compassion.

Last year, my mother was diagnosed with ductal carcinoma. She underwent fine needle and core needle biopsies and the results came out benign. Although her results were negative, as a nurse, I am fully aware that cancer is unpredictable. It might or might not progress to a much worse state so I am still not relieved. I am still bothered with her condition but my mother keeps telling me to entrust it to God. So as a preventive measure and for putting a halt to the progression of the disease, we modified our diets. Even so, I am still uncertain of her condition. I am hoping that I could get all of her body systems checked thoroughly soon when I get to the UK. I really want to spend more time with her as much as I would have had with my dad. I appreciate all the hard work my mother has put in to get me past through college. After all, she deserves to enjoy life and of course, I want to enjoy it with her. She is my source of inspiration and motivation as she has never given up on me. When I failed the IELTS the first time, she knew I’d be devastated. She kept calling and sending me messages of motivation and encouragement. That moment, I have finally understood the extent of motherly instinct. I know how much my mother loves me and this is what keeps me moving forward and not to give up.

It was also on that same year when I was given a chance to present my paper at an international conference held in the city where I am located. I was blessed to have won the best in presentation. My former professors in master's also joined the conferences and were very delighted, including our dean who was very proud that I had yet garnered another award for the university. It was indeed an honor to have represented the university and I offered it to God, my mom and sister, to my
professors and to the university.

I know I may not be the best nurse out there, but my patients always give me reasons to improve myself better, not only as a nurse but also as a person. Their conditions always tell a story of their family backgrounds and health habits. Their health histories give me insights about how unique and uncertain life is, but to receive such gift from God is the best thing that a person could have. I am very amenable to all career opportunities and development that await me when I get to the UK. I want to take that chance of giving my mom a vacation she deserved a long time ago. I am also looking forward in the possibility of pursuing my late father’s dream of becoming a pilot but unlike him, I might consider flying as a hobby and my way of getting my mind off things. I am looking forward to the possibility of incorporating nursing and aviation by becoming part of the air ambulance team. In that way, I could get to do both things - to fly and to render care.