The First Man I Loved
For 10 years, I have lived without you. Life has been very cruel since you left. It has always been a nightmare. I never blamed you for leaving because I know you never left. You are always here..
I could never forget things you had taught me and what you had done to me. How could I ever forget those weekday mornings when you would wake me up singing, "A-lo-fe, a-lo-fe. Lan-son, lan-son" and you would tickle me just so I would jump out of bed? How could I ever forget that every time I stepped into the bathroom, my bath water's ready? How could I ever forget those breakfast meals you have prepared for me? And even the money you had spent on gas just so you could drive me to school? And what about your round-the-clock safety monitoring? How about those nights when I would study Math with you? How about those afternoon drives when you would ask me about my test scores? Lastly, how could I ever forget how much you smothered me with so much, overflowing love?
Never. That one word is enough for me to say that I can never ever forget those. From the deepest of the depths of my heart, I know. You will always and forever be the first man I loved - my Papa.
Pa, had it not been for you, I wouldn't be where I am now. I know I will never be able to understand what you did to me fully, but I know that your love is the only thing I can comprehend. I guess I was too young and wasn't fully aware of the things you did to me before. I used to hate you for being too uptight and strict, but now that I have grown up to be a young woman, I could definitely say that YOU WERE RIGHT. I might not have followed some points you had said, but I cannot deny the fact that I am keeping them in mind now. I used to let your words pass, but as I recall them now, I can say that there are still a lot of things I need to learn.
Your existence was a blessing to those you had touched and even to those who had loved you. Many people adore and admire you for your thoughtfulness, friendliness, loyalty, courage and of course, wisdom. A lot of those people you had known often remember you for what you did to them.
When you left, our world shattered. It was like losing a super dad. No more waking up moments, round-the-clock safety monitoring, study nights, car rides... No more... Not even one of them remained. Just mere memories...
Pa, your passing became an eye-opener to us all, especially to Mama. She was devastated and us too but hers was a grievous, heartbreaking pain, which took her almost 9 years to recover. I was by her side for it was through me where she drew her strength. I was with her all along during her recovery. With our combined efforts and sacrifices, she was able to send me to college and finished with flying colors. We never thought we would have made it for we never knew we had the ability to do so even if you were no longer with us.
Pa, I don't have a lot of words to say how grateful I am that you are my father. I am used not knowing why I even existed until you told me so. I existed because of you and Mama's love. I existed because of God. I know I was never given a single chance to make you happy but I know you know I already had. Your love for us is far more precious than any jewel ever existed.
Thank you so much for the overflowing love, Papa. You are and will always be the man I first loved. I love so much, Papa!
Jem's Note: My very own late Father's Day post. Thank you for reading!
I could never forget things you had taught me and what you had done to me. How could I ever forget those weekday mornings when you would wake me up singing, "A-lo-fe, a-lo-fe. Lan-son, lan-son" and you would tickle me just so I would jump out of bed? How could I ever forget that every time I stepped into the bathroom, my bath water's ready? How could I ever forget those breakfast meals you have prepared for me? And even the money you had spent on gas just so you could drive me to school? And what about your round-the-clock safety monitoring? How about those nights when I would study Math with you? How about those afternoon drives when you would ask me about my test scores? Lastly, how could I ever forget how much you smothered me with so much, overflowing love?
Never. That one word is enough for me to say that I can never ever forget those. From the deepest of the depths of my heart, I know. You will always and forever be the first man I loved - my Papa.
Pa, had it not been for you, I wouldn't be where I am now. I know I will never be able to understand what you did to me fully, but I know that your love is the only thing I can comprehend. I guess I was too young and wasn't fully aware of the things you did to me before. I used to hate you for being too uptight and strict, but now that I have grown up to be a young woman, I could definitely say that YOU WERE RIGHT. I might not have followed some points you had said, but I cannot deny the fact that I am keeping them in mind now. I used to let your words pass, but as I recall them now, I can say that there are still a lot of things I need to learn.
Your existence was a blessing to those you had touched and even to those who had loved you. Many people adore and admire you for your thoughtfulness, friendliness, loyalty, courage and of course, wisdom. A lot of those people you had known often remember you for what you did to them.
When you left, our world shattered. It was like losing a super dad. No more waking up moments, round-the-clock safety monitoring, study nights, car rides... No more... Not even one of them remained. Just mere memories...
Pa, your passing became an eye-opener to us all, especially to Mama. She was devastated and us too but hers was a grievous, heartbreaking pain, which took her almost 9 years to recover. I was by her side for it was through me where she drew her strength. I was with her all along during her recovery. With our combined efforts and sacrifices, she was able to send me to college and finished with flying colors. We never thought we would have made it for we never knew we had the ability to do so even if you were no longer with us.
Pa, I don't have a lot of words to say how grateful I am that you are my father. I am used not knowing why I even existed until you told me so. I existed because of you and Mama's love. I existed because of God. I know I was never given a single chance to make you happy but I know you know I already had. Your love for us is far more precious than any jewel ever existed.
Thank you so much for the overflowing love, Papa. You are and will always be the man I first loved. I love so much, Papa!
Jem's Note: My very own late Father's Day post. Thank you for reading!
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