Undearneath Those Spectacles
She never thought she would get to see someone who could make her miserable days brighter, her lonely nights sleepless and her empty heart filled with warmth and joy. She thought everything happened so fast yet so slow, that impermanent feeling that made her heart skip the very first time her eyes met his underneath his black-rimmed glasses.
She was rushed to the ED, the day she was supposed to go to work. She had been slightly feverish for the past two days, had had abdominal and lower back pains. It was then on that very moment when the ED doors opened and after she settled herself on the wheelchair, that her eyes met his. She did not mind him though as he was also busy helping out his colleagues. After six days of confinement, she was discharged from the hospital and was given five days to recuperate.
Then, she got back to work. It took a while for her to see him again, until that day...
He was doing his rounds as the code nurse, checking for lacking supplies in her station's crash cart. Her dark brown eyes caught sight of him, his eyes were barely visible underneath his black-rimmed glasses. His mere presence made her smile inside. But with the fact that she was to admit a patient with access lines and a tube attached through his throat, she had to get herself ready for the worst.
Few minutes passed, the ED nurse and the nursing assistants came with the patient on a stretcher. As soon as she saw them, she immediately got into the ward to receive the endorsement. She helped the ED personnel settling the patient. And, she knew he was also there. He had to be there because the patient was critical and he was the code nurse and it was still his responsibility to look after the patient.
After minutes of struggling to get the patient settled on the bed, she soon realized he was standing just a few inches from her. She took that opportunity to get his name by getting a glimpse of his ID. She failed. His name was too long for her to read on his barely-readable, faded ID card. She was exasperated as he and his colleagues in the ED finally left the ward.
Just a few hours after the patient was transferred into the ward, the patient got into a cardiac arrest and a code was initiated. She immediately got herself into alert mode. She waited for him to come to assist the interns but he did not. But then she was happy to see some of her teammates running toward the room. She knew they were there to back her up.
She already had pushed a few ampules of Epinephrine when he finally appeared, panting. He took over the position of one of her teammates. He broke another ampule, aspirated the liquid with a syringe and handed it to her shaky and sweaty hands. She pushed the med directly into the patient's vein. He did the same with another one but as he was handing the syringe to her, he came closer and told her to directly push the med not through the Y-Port of the IV tubing, but through the IV cannula's blue-colored injection port. She followed his instructions without any hesitation but as soon as she did, she realized it was too hard for her to push the plunger. She struggled. She told him she couldn't do it. With adept hands, he took the syringe from her that was already twisted into the injection port and pushed the med into the vein without difficulty. She felt a sigh of relief as she knew he was there to back her up. After pushes of Epinephrine, chest pumping, auscultations and respirations from the bag valve mask, the doctor declared the TOD of the patient. She totally felt devastated and deeply saddened. With her head bowed, she started turning off the infusion pumps. He came to her and whispered, "Ma,am, tell the afternoon nurse to return the equipments and to do the after care. You don't want to get stuck in here, do you?" Still with her mask on, she shyly and softly replied, "Yes, sir. I will. Thanks."
When she finally got back to the station, she met him on his way out. He stopped, he lightly touched her shoulder. He reminded her of what he had told her earlier. She thought of how concerned he sounded. It somewhat lightened her long, heavy and tiring day.
That night, she recalled how fast the events that had happened throughout that day. She had thought of the incident over and over again, analyzing if she had done something that could have contributed to the patient's passing. She could think of none except for the fact that the patient's prognosis was very poor. She focused her thoughts on him, contemplated on what was that sudden feeling of joy she felt. Then, she knew she had a problem.
A few days later their workplace caught fire and all of its employees were forced to go on leave without absence. She took the opportune moment to go home and see her family.
She was recalled to get back to work after enjoying three weeks of having not worked. Days before she was about to end her regular schedule as the afternoon shift nurse, something happened that made her heart jump with joy again.
She could definitely say it was one of the most relaxing shifts ever. They only had a few patients to care for and a few new patients to be admitted. As assigned to receive the first admission, the patient was wheeled into the room during the first four hours of the shift. She got into the room, introduced herself, oriented the patient to the room and checked the hanging IV bottle for the remaining fluid. She felt a smile form on her lips as soon as she saw the pink sheet that bore the name of the patient, the room number, the bottle number, the solution, the time and date, the duration, the flow rate and of course, the name of the nurse who hooked it. It was his. She returned to the station and told her friend about it. Then, one of her patients decided to be transferred to another room. She needed to transfer not only the patient physically but electronically on their computer. She tried encoding the patient's new room number but a warning kept coming back saying she could not because there was a pending request from the ED that hadn't been processed yet. She was told by her charge nurse to call the ED and had that request canceled so she could go ahead and save the patient's new room number. She did as told. She slowly picked up the phone's receiver and dialed the ED number. A male voice answered. She immediately recognized it was him through the telephone prompt which included his name and his area of assignment. She told him about her problem. After struggling for three minutes on the phone and from the agony of being teased by her friend, she hung up and felt the weight off her shoulders. Her heart raced and her hands were cold and sweaty as she paced within the station. Deep inside, she thought, "I hope he wheels the incoming patient here so at least I could see him."
Her instincts proved her right. As her shift was about to close, a phone call was received confirming if the room of the incoming patient was ready. She had made the bed and gave her charge nurse a thumbs up, indicating that the room was indeed ready. Then again her heart raced, she was hyperventilating and her hands were colder as ever.
She was about to get into her patient's room to hook another bag of IV when she got to meet him again. He barely even made it to the station when her eyes caught the windows to his soul, that were slightly hidden underneath his glasses. She swallowed hard, pretended nothing happened and went straight into her patient's room. The incoming patient's room was directly across her patient's. Despite having cold, shaky and sweaty hands, she gripped the new IV bag, tore the plastic wrapper, removed the rubber stopper and punctured the bag with the spike of the IV tubing. She knew he was behind her as she heard footsteps. What made her even uneasy was the fact that the receiving nurse hadn't come into the room yet to receive the endorsement. She thought her worst fears were about to happen. Then finally, the receiving nurse came into the room to receive the endorsement.
Back at the station, she looked into her medication basket to check for any remaining meds that were not given. She still had yet to give another dose of inhalation for a patient at the other room. She took the med and started her way out of the station to the patient's room. As soon as she looked up, his dark eyes underneath his glasses met hers again. Everything around her slowed down except for her heart which was about to burst from her chest. She felt so embarrassed she immediately looked away and continued her way to the patient's room. Her friend, however, teased her as he followed her into the ward. She just had hoped her friend's teasing wasn't that loud enough for him to hear.
She made her way home that night with a very big smile on her face. She was satisfied and she couldn't believe what had happened. Her simple, tiny wish which was to see him before her shift ends, was granted.
The following day, she had her day off.
She started her first day following a one day off with a meticulously tied hair bun, defined eyebrows, tightlined eyes and red colored lips. She had a pediatric patient for discharge and was only waiting for his mother to come back to the station after paying for his hospital bill. A few minutes after the endorsement and rounds, the patient's mother came back with the clearance slip. As per hospital policy, discharged patients should be wheeled and accompanied by the nurse. It was not a busy and hectic shift for her so she decided to wheel her patient down to the exit. She, together with the patient and his mother, got into the elevator. The elevator dinged and came to halt, signaling that they have reached the ground floor. The elevator doors swung open and as soon as she looked up, she saw him again, making his way toward the ED. Her heart raced and her hands became cold and shaky with embarrassment as she looked down and pretended that she saw no one. She came back to the station with heart thumping in her ears.
That night, she couldn't manage to sleep. She couldn't believe what had happened. She also had felt a slight amount of regret for having been somewhat obvious with him, meeting those eyes of his underneath his black-rimmed glasses. She realized she had just given him the notion that she likes him.
Present day...
She still finds herself tossing and turning on her bed, at night, trying to get herself to sleep. She still finds her heart racing, her palms cold and sweaty and herself feeling awkward every time she recalls what had happened a few days ago. She has come to her senses and still can't bear the fact that to some extent, she might have reached his end.
Those dark eyes of his underneath those glasses really confuse her.
She was rushed to the ED, the day she was supposed to go to work. She had been slightly feverish for the past two days, had had abdominal and lower back pains. It was then on that very moment when the ED doors opened and after she settled herself on the wheelchair, that her eyes met his. She did not mind him though as he was also busy helping out his colleagues. After six days of confinement, she was discharged from the hospital and was given five days to recuperate.
Then, she got back to work. It took a while for her to see him again, until that day...
He was doing his rounds as the code nurse, checking for lacking supplies in her station's crash cart. Her dark brown eyes caught sight of him, his eyes were barely visible underneath his black-rimmed glasses. His mere presence made her smile inside. But with the fact that she was to admit a patient with access lines and a tube attached through his throat, she had to get herself ready for the worst.
Few minutes passed, the ED nurse and the nursing assistants came with the patient on a stretcher. As soon as she saw them, she immediately got into the ward to receive the endorsement. She helped the ED personnel settling the patient. And, she knew he was also there. He had to be there because the patient was critical and he was the code nurse and it was still his responsibility to look after the patient.
After minutes of struggling to get the patient settled on the bed, she soon realized he was standing just a few inches from her. She took that opportunity to get his name by getting a glimpse of his ID. She failed. His name was too long for her to read on his barely-readable, faded ID card. She was exasperated as he and his colleagues in the ED finally left the ward.
Just a few hours after the patient was transferred into the ward, the patient got into a cardiac arrest and a code was initiated. She immediately got herself into alert mode. She waited for him to come to assist the interns but he did not. But then she was happy to see some of her teammates running toward the room. She knew they were there to back her up.
She already had pushed a few ampules of Epinephrine when he finally appeared, panting. He took over the position of one of her teammates. He broke another ampule, aspirated the liquid with a syringe and handed it to her shaky and sweaty hands. She pushed the med directly into the patient's vein. He did the same with another one but as he was handing the syringe to her, he came closer and told her to directly push the med not through the Y-Port of the IV tubing, but through the IV cannula's blue-colored injection port. She followed his instructions without any hesitation but as soon as she did, she realized it was too hard for her to push the plunger. She struggled. She told him she couldn't do it. With adept hands, he took the syringe from her that was already twisted into the injection port and pushed the med into the vein without difficulty. She felt a sigh of relief as she knew he was there to back her up. After pushes of Epinephrine, chest pumping, auscultations and respirations from the bag valve mask, the doctor declared the TOD of the patient. She totally felt devastated and deeply saddened. With her head bowed, she started turning off the infusion pumps. He came to her and whispered, "Ma,am, tell the afternoon nurse to return the equipments and to do the after care. You don't want to get stuck in here, do you?" Still with her mask on, she shyly and softly replied, "Yes, sir. I will. Thanks."
When she finally got back to the station, she met him on his way out. He stopped, he lightly touched her shoulder. He reminded her of what he had told her earlier. She thought of how concerned he sounded. It somewhat lightened her long, heavy and tiring day.
That night, she recalled how fast the events that had happened throughout that day. She had thought of the incident over and over again, analyzing if she had done something that could have contributed to the patient's passing. She could think of none except for the fact that the patient's prognosis was very poor. She focused her thoughts on him, contemplated on what was that sudden feeling of joy she felt. Then, she knew she had a problem.
A few days later their workplace caught fire and all of its employees were forced to go on leave without absence. She took the opportune moment to go home and see her family.
She was recalled to get back to work after enjoying three weeks of having not worked. Days before she was about to end her regular schedule as the afternoon shift nurse, something happened that made her heart jump with joy again.
She could definitely say it was one of the most relaxing shifts ever. They only had a few patients to care for and a few new patients to be admitted. As assigned to receive the first admission, the patient was wheeled into the room during the first four hours of the shift. She got into the room, introduced herself, oriented the patient to the room and checked the hanging IV bottle for the remaining fluid. She felt a smile form on her lips as soon as she saw the pink sheet that bore the name of the patient, the room number, the bottle number, the solution, the time and date, the duration, the flow rate and of course, the name of the nurse who hooked it. It was his. She returned to the station and told her friend about it. Then, one of her patients decided to be transferred to another room. She needed to transfer not only the patient physically but electronically on their computer. She tried encoding the patient's new room number but a warning kept coming back saying she could not because there was a pending request from the ED that hadn't been processed yet. She was told by her charge nurse to call the ED and had that request canceled so she could go ahead and save the patient's new room number. She did as told. She slowly picked up the phone's receiver and dialed the ED number. A male voice answered. She immediately recognized it was him through the telephone prompt which included his name and his area of assignment. She told him about her problem. After struggling for three minutes on the phone and from the agony of being teased by her friend, she hung up and felt the weight off her shoulders. Her heart raced and her hands were cold and sweaty as she paced within the station. Deep inside, she thought, "I hope he wheels the incoming patient here so at least I could see him."
Her instincts proved her right. As her shift was about to close, a phone call was received confirming if the room of the incoming patient was ready. She had made the bed and gave her charge nurse a thumbs up, indicating that the room was indeed ready. Then again her heart raced, she was hyperventilating and her hands were colder as ever.
She was about to get into her patient's room to hook another bag of IV when she got to meet him again. He barely even made it to the station when her eyes caught the windows to his soul, that were slightly hidden underneath his glasses. She swallowed hard, pretended nothing happened and went straight into her patient's room. The incoming patient's room was directly across her patient's. Despite having cold, shaky and sweaty hands, she gripped the new IV bag, tore the plastic wrapper, removed the rubber stopper and punctured the bag with the spike of the IV tubing. She knew he was behind her as she heard footsteps. What made her even uneasy was the fact that the receiving nurse hadn't come into the room yet to receive the endorsement. She thought her worst fears were about to happen. Then finally, the receiving nurse came into the room to receive the endorsement.
Back at the station, she looked into her medication basket to check for any remaining meds that were not given. She still had yet to give another dose of inhalation for a patient at the other room. She took the med and started her way out of the station to the patient's room. As soon as she looked up, his dark eyes underneath his glasses met hers again. Everything around her slowed down except for her heart which was about to burst from her chest. She felt so embarrassed she immediately looked away and continued her way to the patient's room. Her friend, however, teased her as he followed her into the ward. She just had hoped her friend's teasing wasn't that loud enough for him to hear.
She made her way home that night with a very big smile on her face. She was satisfied and she couldn't believe what had happened. Her simple, tiny wish which was to see him before her shift ends, was granted.
The following day, she had her day off.
She started her first day following a one day off with a meticulously tied hair bun, defined eyebrows, tightlined eyes and red colored lips. She had a pediatric patient for discharge and was only waiting for his mother to come back to the station after paying for his hospital bill. A few minutes after the endorsement and rounds, the patient's mother came back with the clearance slip. As per hospital policy, discharged patients should be wheeled and accompanied by the nurse. It was not a busy and hectic shift for her so she decided to wheel her patient down to the exit. She, together with the patient and his mother, got into the elevator. The elevator dinged and came to halt, signaling that they have reached the ground floor. The elevator doors swung open and as soon as she looked up, she saw him again, making his way toward the ED. Her heart raced and her hands became cold and shaky with embarrassment as she looked down and pretended that she saw no one. She came back to the station with heart thumping in her ears.
That night, she couldn't manage to sleep. She couldn't believe what had happened. She also had felt a slight amount of regret for having been somewhat obvious with him, meeting those eyes of his underneath his black-rimmed glasses. She realized she had just given him the notion that she likes him.
Present day...
She still finds herself tossing and turning on her bed, at night, trying to get herself to sleep. She still finds her heart racing, her palms cold and sweaty and herself feeling awkward every time she recalls what had happened a few days ago. She has come to her senses and still can't bear the fact that to some extent, she might have reached his end.
Those dark eyes of his underneath those glasses really confuse her.
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